I CAN'T BE ANYONE BUT MYSELF

Last Wednesday, on December 11th, I went to a Filmmaker's Party in Santa Monica. The event was organized by JuntoBox Films. This organization prides themselves on creating films for the democracy, by funding creative projects chosen by their community. JuntoBox allows film enthusiast to support small projects in hopes of turning them into feature films. 

 

The party I attended was a holiday party intended for the alliance of filmmakers. I have always been a fan of film, but most people who know me know that I am not a Producer, or even an Actor. Although I occasionally get my Denzel on, I'm not ready to share that with the world.  So how did I get invited to this prestigious holiday party?

 

The truth is I didn't. I reserved a free ticket through Eventbrite, on my iPhone. I've been actively seeking opportunities to network, and share my ideas about Lane Swint and I felt that this was a place to do so.

 

Come Wednesday night,  I arrive after an hour or so (thanks to California traffic) and I can see the entrance to the event from the parking lot. I can see people walking in and out, most guest are dressed in fine formal clothing. I look to my left, and there's a woman in her car putting makeup on. If she was coloring, she wouldn't dare go outside the lines because it had to be perfect. I was always a professional at People Watching. I saw all types of people heading toward the door - older men who had to be big time Producers, young attractive women who had to be Actresses, and distinct individuals who had to be Writers. Then I noticed people seeing me. I then asked myself, "what am I doing?" I've been sitting there for about 10 minutes already, in the parking, looking suspect! I was stuck! I couldn't get out of the car.

 

My confidence ran away from me. My thoughts were running wild! I could only focus on the reasons that I shouldn't be here like: "I'm not a filmmaker", "I wasn't invited", "I'm underdressed", "I'm in Clothing, not Films", "The doorman might send me away anyway", etc. I was stuck in traffic just to make it to this event, and at that moment I considered leaving.

 

Now, I had been sitting in my car for about 25 minutes.. I had to do something. I kept going back in forth, but then I tried rationalizing. I started to think: "I didn't drive out here for nothing", "If I go in and get sent away, I tried", "What are you afraid of?", "God brought you here for a reason" and finally, "stop acting like a b**ch!" That last one usually convinces most men, to stop acting like a b**ch. I finally got the courage to open the door and get out of the car. I shut the door, locked the car, and headed toward the doors.

 

I walked in..

 

No one sent me away, everyone didn't turn around in despise, and the party continued. There were no interruptions when I stepped into the building. It was actually a small, intimate gallery - white walls with various art pieces placed along them, a huge TV mounted high on wall, the bar was to the right and further into the gallery, and in the very back was a screening room filled with bean bag chairs.

 

Naturally, I headed to the bar first. All drinks were on the house! I got a Cranberry Vodka to help loosen up and I started People Watching again. I was just amazed that I was now an official guest of a filmmaker's party. People approached me and we got into some deep conversations. I learned about JuntoBox Films, acting, producing and just film in general. We talked about the things that motivated us and our passion for creativity. Whenever the question, "So what do you do?" came my way, I was honest! I would say "I actually have my own clothing line. I recently moved to California to explore its opportunities. I also love film so I thought this would be a great event to do some networking". 

 

I took comfort knowing that I could still be myself, especially when I'm surrounded by entertainers and people whose pay is substantially higher than mine. And I was rewarded for doing so! A few individuals asked if I'd ever be interested in featuring some of Lane Swint Apparel in their projects or films, and others encouraged me to attend other upcoming events. Ultimately, I made some new friends that night. Just a few hours ago I was sitting in the car intimidated by my own thoughts, and fearful of being rejected.

 

Thinking about it now and looking back to that night, I just laugh at myself. If you take anything away from this personally, I want it to be this:

 

"You can never fail being yourself, you can only fail yourself." 

 

That basically means you may miss out on opportunities in life simply because your were afraid of being you. People will always have an opinion about something, even if it's about you personally. That shouldn't stop you from accomplishing your goals. If the loud noise of the people are louder than your dreams, then you are failing yourself. Sometimes it's only your conscience that's the loudest! You are your biggest obstacle.

 

Do yourself a favor and be you fearlessly.

 

Percy Swint, Owner of Lane Swint